Why Won't Therapists Just Defend Themselves? (Quick Read)

A family member or ex posts something false and public about a therapist. No client was ever involved — no HIPAA, no privilege, nothing legally stopping a full public response. And the therapist still stays quiet.

Here's why, in short:

For a deeper look at how smear campaigns and flying monkeys work in narcissistic abuse dynamics, see Flying Monkeys and the Smear Campaign.

Any visible reaction — even a fully justified one — tends to get read as "shouldn't they know how to handle this better?" instead of "that was a reasonable response to an attack." Fighting back can end up looking like proof of the very instability the accusation claims.

Most state boards have broad "public trust" language that can apply to a clinician's visible behavior anywhere — which means a bad-faith complaint can trigger a real review even when nothing was actually done wrong.

Part of what someone buys when they choose a therapist is confidence that this person stays steady under pressure. A public fight — however justified — can quietly shake that confidence in people who were never involved in the dispute at all.

Defamation and harassment law still fully apply (no confidentiality bar here). Platform reporting for harassment or privacy violations is usually available. And a pre-decided "we don't respond publicly" policy removes the panic of improvising in the moment.

The most sustainable outlet: writing about the pattern — anonymized, aimed at the mechanism instead of the person — says everything true without costing the professional container clients are relying on.

The silence isn't agreement. It's often the only party in the exchange still holding a standard the other side never had to follow.

Well wishes. 🙏

Mx. Love C. Dialogos, LMFT · Buddhist Chaplain Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Buddhist Chaplain Pronouns: They/Them

This article is for general educational purposes and is not legal advice. For the full-length version of this piece with complete explanations, see "The Gag Nobody Wrote Down."