A client describes, in one of our early sessions, the strange experience of being estranged from a sibling and discovering, months later, that an entire story had been written about her in her absence. She hadn't been consulted. She hadn't even known the story existed...
A client tells me about the moment she realized her diagnosis had stopped being hers. It took her nearly fifteen years and a rotating cast of providers to get an accurate one in the first place — mislabeled first with anxiety, then bipolar, then borderline personality...
A client sits across from me describing, for the third session in a row, a symptom his physicians can’t explain. Chest tightness that isn’t cardiac. Stomach pain that isn’t gastrointestinal. A jaw he’s been told he clenches in his sleep so hard...
When you're a psychotherapist, you learn quickly that the people who most often end up in my office aren't often "the problem." They are "sin eaters" — a role with roots stretching back to the Old Testament scapegoat, the goat sent into the wilderness on Yom...
Complete control over anything is illusory. Our version of humanoid is around 285,000 years old, give or take. For most of that span, we were not alone. As recently as 40,000 years or so ago, multiple species of humans were alive on this planet at the same time —...
So this is a little broad and loaded. In my clinical work as a psychotherapist and sex therapist, I’m often asked to, “Meet people where they’re at.” Now that’s Tri-faceted, with many sub-facets depending on context 1) Biological,...
A client sits across from me describing, for the third session in a row, a symptom his physicians can’t explain. Chest tightness that isn’t cardiac. Stomach pain that isn’t gastrointestinal. A jaw he’s been told he clenches in his sleep so hard...
Ok…. So my grandmother never had long hair, and no one ever said she wasn't "lady like." Hair is just hair. It doesn't equate to gender. I get frustrated when I hear folx wanting me, or others, to have long hair or short hair, shave or not shave armpits, shave or not...
Being non-monosexual (liking more than one type of human) has been confusing for a lot of folx in my life. Inherently being queer is going to be and is a minority group in every species that lives in a binary structure. Monosexuals at times, have such a difficult time...
I find this topic fascinating for many reasons. I have training in gender and sex therapy. Intrinsically, identity work comes into play with most of the lovely humans I help. At least in the west, it appears most identities are heavily steeped in gender as an origin....
A client tells me about the moment she realized her diagnosis had stopped being hers. It took her nearly fifteen years and a rotating cast of providers to get an accurate one in the first place — mislabeled first with anxiety, then bipolar, then borderline personality...
A couple comes in for their first session, and within the first ten minutes, one partner says it plainly: "I think she might be a narcissist." He describes a familiar list — she doesn't seem to notice when he's upset unless he says so directly. She can talk for twenty...
Flying Monkeys and the Smear Campaign: Recognizing the Architecture of Narcissistic Abuse A client tells me, early in our work together, that no one believes her. Not fully. Her friends have started giving her a certain look when she brings up her ex-partner — polite,...
A couple comes in for their first session, and within the first ten minutes, one partner says it plainly: "I think she might be a narcissist." He describes a familiar list — she doesn't seem to notice when he's upset unless he says so directly. She can talk for twenty...
A client comes to me at forty-one with a diagnostic history longer than her résumé. Generalized anxiety at nineteen. A brief, uncertain flirtation with a bipolar II label at twenty-four, dropped when the mood stabilizer did nothing. Borderline personality disorder at...
The Thing No One Will Say in the Room La Salles, or wherever you like. A couple across from me. They have been having the same argument for years, and it has worn a groove so deep that neither of them has to steer anymore — the car finds it on its own. The dishwasher....
A client describes, in one of our early sessions, the strange experience of being estranged from a sibling and discovering, months later, that an entire story had been written about her in her absence. She hadn't been consulted. She hadn't even known the story existed...
A client tells me about the moment she realized her diagnosis had stopped being hers. It took her nearly fifteen years and a rotating cast of providers to get an accurate one in the first place — mislabeled first with anxiety, then bipolar, then borderline personality...
Flying Monkeys and the Smear Campaign: Recognizing the Architecture of Narcissistic Abuse A client tells me, early in our work together, that no one believes her. Not fully. Her friends have started giving her a certain look when she brings up her ex-partner — polite,...
When you're a psychotherapist, you learn quickly that the people who most often end up in my office aren't often "the problem." They are "sin eaters" — a role with roots stretching back to the Old Testament scapegoat, the goat sent into the wilderness on Yom...
The EQ Timeline: How Relationships Actually Unfold Finding love — or any relational substance, really — is the ticket. But that's after the honeymoon period, the infatuation period, typically 2 to 6 months. You'll know you've crossed out of it when you begin to notice...
Complete control over anything is illusory. Our version of humanoid is around 285,000 years old, give or take. For most of that span, we were not alone. As recently as 40,000 years or so ago, multiple species of humans were alive on this planet at the same time —...
Many people look for ways to bring mindfulness, deep self-awareness, and emotional balance into their personal therapy. However, it can be hard to know how to use these concepts practically without getting lost in vague spirituality or self-help platitudes. When done...
The Thing No One Will Say in the Room La Salles, or wherever you like. A couple across from me. They have been having the same argument for years, and it has worn a groove so deep that neither of them has to steer anymore — the car finds it on its own. The dishwasher....
In the journey of relationships, understanding the nuances of Emotional Quotient (EQ) is paramount. It’s not just about navigating through the highs and lows but about embracing the full spectrum of human experience. EQ allows us to connect deeply, fostering empathy and compassion in our interactions. As we learn to manage our emotions, we also become more adept at recognizing and validating the feelings of others. This reciprocal exchange is what transforms ordinary connections into profound relationships. The ability to engage with discomfort, to sit with it, and to grow from it is where true relational substance lies. Each moment spent in honest communication and vulnerability builds a foundation for lasting bonds. Remember, relationships are not merely about the good times; they thrive in the challenges we face together. Cultivating your EQ is an investment in every relationship you cherish, ensuring that when the superficial fades, the depth remains.
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