A client describes, in one of our early sessions, the strange experience of being estranged from a sibling and discovering, months later, that an entire story had been written about her in her absence. She hadn't been consulted. She hadn't even known the story existed...
Family Systems

Writing the Villain: How Families Narrate a Cutoff Using the Person They Excluded
In the intricate tapestry of family dynamics, the narratives we weave can often obscure the truth. When estrangement occurs, families may craft stories that serve to justify their actions, but these tales can distort reality. The excluded individual becomes a character in a story that prioritizes the family’s need for coherence over the complexities of their lived experience. This phenomenon raises important questions about accountability and the narratives we accept. Understanding these dynamics can empower those affected to reclaim their story and challenge the narratives that seek to define them. By exploring the layers of family estrangement, we can begin to unravel the myths that perpetuate silence and stigma, paving the way for healing and understanding.

You Only Worry About Me When It’s Convenient”: Ableism as a Weapon
In a world where convenience often trumps understanding, the narratives surrounding ableism reveal a troubling truth. The weaponization of diagnoses not only distorts reality but also undermines the voices of those who need to be heard. This dynamic creates a cycle of mistrust and isolation, where the very traits that define an individual become tools for dismissal rather than avenues for empathy. It’s crucial to challenge these narratives, to recognize the humanity behind the labels, and to advocate for a society that values authenticity over convenience. By dismantling the stigma associated with mental health diagnoses, we can begin to foster genuine connections and support systems that uplift rather than isolate.

The Body Keeps the Closet: Religious Trauma, Inauthenticity, and Somatization in LGBTQ+ Clients
A client sits across from me describing, for the third session in a row, a symptom his physicians can’t explain. Chest tightness that isn’t cardiac. Stomach pain that isn’t gastrointestinal. A jaw he’s been told he clenches in his sleep so hard...

The Family’s Sin Eater: Rethinking the “Identified Patient”
When you're a psychotherapist, you learn quickly that the people who most often end up in my office aren't often "the problem." They are "sin eaters" — a role with roots stretching back to the Old Testament scapegoat, the goat sent into the wilderness on Yom...

Language and Safety
Complete control over anything is illusory. Our version of humanoid is around 285,000 years old, give or take. For most of that span, we were not alone. As recently as 40,000 years or so ago, multiple species of humans were alive on this planet at the same time —...

How do you measure intelligence
So this is a little broad and loaded. In my clinical work as a psychotherapist and sex therapist, I’m often asked to, “Meet people where they’re at.” Now that’s Tri-faceted, with many sub-facets depending on context 1) Biological,...
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